It was a rubber chicken. $1.99 Rubber chicken. It was a dog toy, once upon a time. Actually, about 2 hours ago. It didn't last very long, but I would still say I got my money's worth. It went kind of like this.
Picture Haley and me running a bunch of errands today. We decided to take the dogs with us. If they were going to just sit in their crate and be lonely, they may as well just sit in the car and keep us company. They do so enjoy barking at all the passers by in the parking lot. Michael's, Old Navy, Bertucci's... Izzy sat in the front with me, Rufus in the back with Haley. We made it to Ulta, stopped at Chick Fil-a for a drink. They were so good, we took them to Pet Smart to pick out some new toys and treats. You see, I love my dogs. I mean I love them like one of those crazy dog people. I AM one of those crazy dog people. I even got them matching his-and-hers hooded sweat shirts for chilly fall days. They wear them to go running with Ira. They like them. I have issues, I know. But I digress, back to Pet Smart. We wander the toy department, Haley, the dogs and I, picking out the perfect rubber chewies. In the past, I found the most indestructible $10 toys that would last about 4 days. Time for a new tactic. I chose the $2 flimsy toy that would last about 3 minutes. I figure I pay about that much for really good bones, and they don't last much longer.
When we got home, the dogs got their little rubber chicken after dinner. He was very cute. I named him Hubert and we said a little prayer over the sacrificial chicken before giving him to the hounds of hell. They each loved just carrying little Hubert around. He made the most adorable little squeaky sounds. I think my mistake was in buying only one chicken. Had there been two... perhaps a Herbert to help divert all attention away from Hubert...
What made me laugh today was this. Ira came home from work late. I was upstairs watching TV. He called out, "Can anyone tell me why the dog is running around with a decapitated chicken in her mouth?" How exactly does one even answer that?
So I just had to laugh.
Rest in peace, Hubert.